The title of this book first made me think it must be a text for managers and executives; I did not expect to connect with it in the way I did. A key point of this book is that we are constantly receiving feedback; sometimes information is openly stated as feedback, such as a performance evaluation, but more often, and less formally, we receive feedback in comments about our behavior, appearance, or abilities from friends, colleagues, and family members. The authors point out that although much attention has focused on how to give feedback effectively, perhaps the reason feedback is ineffective relates to the manner in which it is received. Like all forms of communication, feedback is a 2-way street.

The first chapter gives an overview of our emotional response to feedback, called “triggers.” Triggers cause us to reject the message, change the subject, or feel unfairly judged when receiving...

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